Necessity meets stupidity (AKA: How I changed the world with $10.62).

There have been many inspiring artists, inventors and thinkers throughout the annals of history.  These Renaissance men created beautiful images and items of untold use with their own hands.  They looked at the world around them and sought answers for the questions surrounding mankind.  Their brilliance had no end, and when they seamlessly mastered one vocation, they would explore another to the benefit and awe of all humanity.  You have heard their names as examples of the most ingenious minds of all time...Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Galileo, Issac Newton, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Colonel Harland Sanders....the list goes on and on.  They were innovators, and their contributions still amaze us today.

This story is not about such a scenario, individual or circumstance.  Not even close.

You see...a couple of years ago, Chicky procured a canoe.  It's pretty.  Here's a picture of what it looks like floating on grass:

It's named Starseed (because all sea-faring crafts need a name).  The name of this particular vessel was derived from a Canadian rock group named Our Lady Peace and their song Starseed.  The story goes that, as we were trying to decide what to name the canoe, this jaunty tune came on the radio.  Being one of our personal fav's, we had to try it out...and the name stuck.  Inconsequential history is fun right?

Since that time, we've had to haul Starseed around using my parent's pickup as it was the only vehicle we had available to us that could carry around a 150-pound yacht.  Of course using the truck came with a slew of strings attached, including a hefty gas bills.  The negotiation process alone was traumatic!

Anyway, this past winter that all changed .  I purchased my Suvie, and now had something that could transport our dear Starseed from one location to another.  The hitch in this well designed plan, was that while my Suvie had roof rails (the rails that run parallel to the sides of the vehicle), it didn't come with crossbars that ran from one rail to another.  When I asked the nice people at the Nissan dealership how much installing two cheaply made slats of plastic totalling seven feet would run me, they smiled and said, "$300 dollars, with about $75 to install."  After I finished laughing in their faces and inquiring if they realized how ridiculous they sounded saying that out loud with a straight face, I decided to do some research of my own.

Apparently crossbars for a Nissan Suvie are forged in the fires of Mordor and varnished with the tears of angels because well known roof rack distributors like Thule and Yackima wanted well over $300 for their product.  So I was reduces to skulking around discount rack places.  It was there I learned that my Nissan has the largest damn roof rails on earth.  It would take you a three day trip just to circumvent around their girth.  I like my Suvie, but WTF Nissan!?!?

Nation.....I'm not a tightwad, but to pay $300+ for something I'll use a handful of times a year seems excessive and dumb.  Especially for something that is just glorified PVC pipe clamped to my roof!

And then it hit me....eat your heart out Da Vinci:

Yes folks, handcrafted from the tawdry isles of Value Home Center - I give you the Szuchie Mark I roof crossbars.  They are sleek, aerodynamic, can handle 200 pounds of cargo, and are designed with Sharpie block lettering.  All this and more can be yours for the affordable price of $10.62. 

What's that you say, how can such a high-quality peice of American craftsmanship be so affordable? 

Believe it or not, eight feet of PVC pipe is unlawfully cheap.  That alone was $8.  Throw in four caps for the ends, and a dozen zip ties...and you have yourself the most ghetto damn roof rack system on the face of the planet.  As this particular blahg entry has most unequivocally illustrated, I'm a total idiot.  But I'm not such an idiot that I won't run some field trials of this extravagant system.

So my plan will be to attached these to my Suvie, and spend the day doing what I would normally do.  If they don't fly off and impale any unexpected passersby, I'm golden baby.  This weekend I could be canoeing!!!