Turd-whisperer

So yesterday was yet another zero day - so I was out the door to do some mid-week caching.  I sort of like caching in the middle of the week because it breaks up the monotony of coming home and staring at my walls. Note that my walls are not very entertaining, so the preceding sentence is a bad thing.  The destination today was a cache which I'm assuming is in Hermitage.  The cache was called A Micro In The Woods by Snowman257.  Contrary to its name, the hide was listed as being regular-sized.  So clearly there was some mystique surrounding this cache which caused me to guess many things (all of which were way off...haha...but more on that in a second).  The layout of my journey would be to cut through a hundred-feet or so of field and enjoy a nice tenth of a mile walk into the woods to find my prize.

Well...I arrived at the parking, jumped out of the truck, got into my jacket and mud-boots, grabbed my GPS when all of a sudden something struck me...why does it smell like shit out here??!?!?  Yes folks, just that day they spread liquid fertilizer EVERYWHERE.  It was unbelievable timing...and so there I stood pacing the shoulder of the road trying to decide whether the 100-foot walk through a shit covered field was worth it.  Of course it was, because turning back didn't seem as hilarious as wading through a foul smelling mess.  :-)  So I made it into the woods, Turdy Mc-Turds caked to my boots and in short order I arrive at the cache.  Everything I imagined a cache called "A Micro In The Woods" being was so completely off...  Check this out!



Yes folks...hanging 20-some feet in the air was a microwave IN THE WOODS.  Un-freaking-believable.  I couldn't help but laugh my ass off.  I have to admit, I really do like Snowman's style.  So after opening the cache and checking out the contents I made a HORRIBLE discovery.

There...

Was...

No...

Pen.

You want to know panic...watch a guy who slogged through 30-plus yards of liquid turd suddenly realize that the only way he can sign in is if he goes through that slop three more times.  Being the ethically confounded dweeb that I am, couldn't possibly claim a find on something were I didn't properly get my name into the logbook.  So I had to improvise:



 You might be asking yourselves...

"Self, did Szuchie use the toxic feces on his now stanky boots to doodle his name into that log book???"

One might never know!  Haha.  In the end I just posted a note on the cache page because I really prefer to log in properly.  So I guess I'll be going back bitches!  Check out the full cache log if you're really interested.

From there I still had the wicked conundrum of filling my zero day.  Thankfully on my way home there was another Snowman257 cache called Richard Romesser Memorial Veterans Park Cache.  This was a really exceptional 5 part multicache that offered nearly a mile hike in total.  Each leg was different, creative and unique and at the completion of the cache you were treated to a wonderful 30 cal ammobox.  Exceptional stuff folks - really well done.  I wish I had pictures of this adventure, but I was more concerned with walking through every puddle in this park to get some of the turdy-licious goo off my poor boots.  So just so you can go away happy, here's a scary picture of my fuzzy-assed face.



Hmm....I think I could fit my head in there.