Szuchie's Grand Escape...: PA Weekend with Jeffie – Sunday Edition (Afternoon)

Hopefully this is chronological…as I am prone to fits of forgetfulness. Hehe.

After we were done playing on the Icy Mountain of Doom, Jeff decided he wanted to show me something. It was a road actually. Or at least that’s what the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania defines it as. But before I get into the nitty-gritty – I suppose it’s worth relieving some history. It very well could be the single most important moment in American history. You see, during the early 1990’s, Frankfurter Dodge and Maxamillion Plymouth, decided to create a front wheel drive compact car. They pondered the design for months. They wanted to build something that would be an affordable grocery getter, provide good fuel economy and have plenty of seating for a small family on the go….oh, and also possess the testicular fortitude of an M1 Abrams Battle Tank. This insightful vision gave way to the 1995 Dodge Neon. Not only was the Neon a charming little bug eyed vehicle, it also was the Chuck Norris of the automobile world. Underneath its hood, was another hood. That’s how fierce this bitch is. Anyway, Jeff’s lovely wife Karen owns a brown Neon. Interestingly enough, apparently only two Brown Neons were ever manufactured (the one Karen owns, and the one the chain-smoking accountant who never says hi or smiles at me when I walk by parks behind my apartment).

The purpose of this completely factual history lesson? Back in May 2005, Jeff, Karen and I had just completed a cache called Gum Boot Hill by Salvelinus in Black Moshannon State Park. After completing the cache, we had the option to continue down Tram Road – to points unknown, OR, to return the 1000 feet from where we came, back to the paved sanctuary of Route 504. I remember Jeff asking aloud which direction we should go, and I’m pretty sure my response was, let’s have an adventure and keep going (because lazy logic dictates that turning the car around was far too much effort…haha).

Boy…was that the wrong decision. The early goings of Tram Road were standard dirt road fare. A pothole here, some rocks there…nothing the clearance of a normal car couldn’t easily handle. We started downhill, and that all changed. Suddenly we were navigating around and over huge boulders protruding from the road – going up and down hills that were designed more for a 4x4 Jeep than a dinky little Neon – and throughout this all, that car took the punishment in almost a masochistic manner. At one point we passed by a Jeep parked along the side of the road, and the people standing nearby looked at us in horror as this tiny Neon went cruising by. We bottomed out more times than I could count – and still we kept on going. After a few miles of rocks crunching into the undercarriage of the car, we FINALLY made it back to a legitimate and passable road. To this day, we still joke about the Tram Road Incident.

Well, unbeknown to me, in the last year or two, Jeff and Karen found a road worse that Tram Road…and yes, you guessed it. The Neon slayed that road too. So after our run on the ridge, Jeff wanted me to take my Pathfinder down this road so I could fully appreciate the awesomeness of the Neon. He claimed the road was even worse off than Tram Road. I had to see it to believe it. When we first started down the road, I failed to see what the big deal was. It was just a dirt road. No biggie right?!? Hehe…we turned one corner…and suddenly this well-groomed dirt road was replaced with what I can only describe as an extremely rocky creek bed. I was in awe. And slightly terrified. Here I was, in my not-yet-4 month old Pathfinder, and we are driving down the road to hell. Way to go Jeff! Anyway, this road was a complete disaster. Not only were rocks spiking up from the road, but also washouts, gulleys and boulders lining the roadside (in some cases only a foot from the doors). What the hell Jeff?!?!?

For what seemed like miles, we trudged through this horrific mess. Even if I wanted to turn around, the road was barely wide enough for my vehicle…so that rendered that escape option virtually useless. Eventually the road evened out, and we were back on pavement. You are one lucky turd Jeffery!

Afterwards my heart was thumping pretty good. That was quite the adventure – and of course immensely stupid. I was floored that the Neon tackled that. The fact that I didn’t bottom out surprised me…but the Neon?!?!?

Eric = mightily impressed

From there we decided to head home and sloth around for a while. I have to believe Sheetz was involved…because c’mon…why wouldn’t it be? Haha. Eventually, with the boy’s weekend quickly coming to a close, we decided to go easy on ourselves and embark on a bunch of park and grabs. Truth be told, I don’t completely despise park and grabs. I just don’t always understand people’s motives and or reasoning. At the end of all things though, quality time with Jeff is still quality time with Jeff…regardless of the location.

If memory services, the majority of the park and grabs we chased after were part of a Rest N’ Peace Series. The purpose being, to hide caches in cemeteries within Centre County, PA. Or at least that’s my understanding. Haha. Anyway, the Rest N’ Peace caches did take us to some cool out of the way cemeteries (some more “historic” than others). I don’t entirely agree with placing caches in cemeteries…but then again, I’m not the powers that be so…I’m probably the minority. I will say that some cemeteries have some great old stones (from the 1800’s) which are always interesting to explore. Anything newer than that though, seems terribly wrong. But I’m on my soapbox…so I’ll digress!

Anyway, of all the caches we did, the best one was called Rest N' Peace CC #1 - Benner Cemetery by MattressGnome. This cemetery is actually located on land just recently purchased by Penn State University from a nearby maximum security prison. Therefore, up until this purchase, NO ONE was permitted on this land under penalty of arrest. So after years and years of ambiguity, the public could finally explore this small cemetery. What blew me away was the make-up of this interment. It was over a quarter mile hike down an old wooded road to get to the cache. When you finally exited the woods, the cemetery stood in the middle of a field in the distance like an oasis – surrounded by cedar trees. I was told once that in many of the older cemeteries, you are likely to see cedar surrounding them. People believed that the cedar kept any spirits that would be wandering the earth inside the burial grounds. So when I see cedar, I usually know right away it’s an old spot.

The cemetery itself was also surrounded by an old stone wall, with a stairway that took you over it and into the grounds themselves. There we found a dozen or less stones dating back to the early to mid 1800’s. One of the interred was General Philip Benner – an early local industrialist, and Major General of the Pennsylvania Militia. Pretty cool stuff! This was definitely my favorite of the cemetery stops today.

From there we would play for a little longer, before returning to Jeff’s. I was beat, but at the same time I knew it had been an awesome weekend. We certainly did about everything you could possibly do this weekend. From amazing hikes into the woods, to cool caches, to damn puzzles and interesting history lessons…I had a blast. And if your brain hasn’t turned to mush by reading my incessant ramblings, you can of course can read about all the fun we had on Jeff's blog (while taking note of all the bizarre pictures he was able to capture without my knowledge).